And Beauty Is Her Name

This is the picture I use when I'm bored and go into chat rooms.

I describe myself as single, beautiful brown eyes, silky hair, and white teeth. When they ask my name I say "Peaches."

After I send this picture usually they don't answer. I ask them if they want a XXX picture instead. Most of the time they say yes. Men in chat rooms are desperate. I really believe that if they liked the body on this man/woman they would try to get in bed with Peaches.

When I send the picture I laugh my head off. I can't wait for their reaction. If they answer after they see the picture they ask me if I'm serious. I say "Yeah, why?"

Bologna

When I was little (not in size but in age) I called the jar opener bologna. I called it that because the one in the house was the exact color of a piece of bologna.

I got a piece of bologna (the jar opener not the meat) today from Busch's Grocery Store. It was the Grand Opening. This grocery store charges an arm and a leg for everything. I couldn't even afford to buy a real piece of bologna from there. I think it was $17.00 a lb. Nah, not that much but pretty close.

I told my mom the store will never see me again because the prices are crazy. I showed her my bologna jar opener. I told her this is the grand opening gift and she said "Oh they were giving out bologna?" I thought she forgot I used to call it that. Brought back fond memories.

Stained

Pomegranate's are my all time favorite fruit. They're so juicy, sweet and good for you too! They're a pain to eat.

Yesterday during Saturday Night Live I decided to eat the pomegranate that's been chilling in my fridge for 3 days.

I got a huge bowl, a knife and several towels to put under the bowl because you don't want to get the juice on anything you care about. The juice stains forever.

I cut it open, juice flowed everywhere. I was so happy I bought a nice juicy one. This red beauty cost me $2.00. Brandi came in the room. She set her eyes on my bowl. I told her right away she couldn't have any. I wasn't sharing. "Get your own." I told her. Since she works at Meijer she said "I will buy my own 1896!" I said "what?" She said "1896" I said "what does that mean?" She said "that's the code # for pomegranates." She proceeded to tell me the code for every fruit and vegetable Meijer has. Very impressive but still not getting any of my pomegranate.

Bebe got up on the bed and stared over my bowl. He sat there licking his lips. I really wanted him to lick the juicy from the bottom of my bowl so he could have a red beard. I didn't do it.

I ate the whole thing. My fingers are stained. My pajamas stained. I had to use a yard of dental floss to get the seeds out of my teeth but it was worth it. Pomegranate season isn't long.

A Little Early...I Hope.

There's a place in Ghana that'll make a coffin in any style you'd like. If you were a fisherman you could get a fish coffin. If you liked shoes, you can get a shoe coffin. The place is called Fantasy Coffins.

I picked this coffin for myself. Hopefully, I won't need it for a very long time. Kinda stylish huh? Inside I would like to be wearing a Prada suit and purse with a pair of great shoes. No flats please.

My Short Christmas List

I would like this house. It's for sale and only $75 million. Just think how beautiful I would look walking in the door wearing my 5 million dollar bra!

I promise to do my own gardening just to cut out some of the expenses.

Bobby...if you buy me this house I will pay the cable bill. I've been a good girl.

Melena d' la Moja

Melena d' la Moja A.K.A. Mario Gardner was my friend. We were friends in school since the 6th grade. All we knew about Mario is that he was funny as hell and so very nice. Everyone liked him.

I've been thinking about my friend and I miss him.

Here is the article that was written about him:

In addition to art venues and experimental theater, Gardner appeared in such mainstream productions as Hill Street Blues, Ill-Gotten Gains and Madonna's Who's That Girl? He was a cast member of Secrets, an AIDS health-education theater project that toured L.A. County high schools.

Gardner's suicide on June 27 came as no surprise to those who knew him well. Filmmaker Lawrence Elbert, who collaborated with him on the underground feature film Days of Pentecost and a series of 37 shorts called Whitney: Mama's Little Baby -- The Series, described the nature of Gardner's performance work: "He was always suicidal and had demons inside him that came from the abuse he wrestled with. His work came from a place of real anger, he had a strong comedic sense, but there was a dark bottom to it. Our work together was specifically political even though it was slapstick. It was about homophobia, drug issues, child abuse and racism. Many of these came from his experiences growing up in Detroit. He had a completely addictive personality and mental illness. As time went by, he became more and more violent and angry.

On June 14, Gardner did his final Crazy Space performance, called The Nigger of Sesame Street. He was onstage again with his longtime co-star Kuiland-Nazario, and directed by one of his performance idols, Keith Antar Mason. About five days later he went on a cocaine and crystal-meth run.

On the day he died, Gardner called young filmmaker Steve Moreno to take him up on his suggestion to play a drug addict about to commit suicide by taking an overdose. The filmmaker brought Gardner to his house, shot the scene on two cameras and ran out of film. Gardner's line "I'll probably be in the casket, hug me as if I was at my own funeral" was realness in the harshest way. He made his way back home and continued imbibing alcohol and pills; he was found dead the next morning. Gardner is survived by his mother and seven siblings in Detroit and Oklahoma. Whitney: Mama's Little Baby -- The Series is still doing the festival circuit, recently having sold-out screenings at the Castro Theater in San Francisco.