Just Remembering...

Ever love someone really fast and really hard? It happened to me. I guess the faster and harder you love...you can get hurt just as hard and just as fast. I'm thinking about a time in my life that hit me like a ton of bricks falling from a 9,000 story building. That's a huge blow.

We met. At a local spot. Hadn't seen each other in forever. Hadn't planned on seeing him again. Ever. But people run into one another either through an e-mail, through a friend or maybe just by chance. You never think or have a thought about him until one day...he's just there. BOOM! He's there. After that encounter of talking, meeting or whatever...something clicks. A light goes on. The fattest lightbulb that could illuminate an entire country is shining on that one person. A prize on a game show - the spotlight is just shining on that object and you see nothing else. That's what happened. That night the beam of light was so bright over his head that nothing else could be seen. I held my breath for a quick second then let it go. My heart fluttered. My heart stopped. He was looking so beautiful. So stunning. So mature. I stand there taking him all in. Smelling him through his coat during our generous tight hug. "It's so good to see you!" He says to me. "It's SO good to see you!" I reply. I'm thinking about never letting this man go.

Time goes by. Not a long time but long enough to understand the basics. Time goes by just long enough to understand him and where he's coming from and where he's going. We share so much together. It's an instant bond. Likes and dislikes are the same. There is no fakeness. No airs. This is how he is and this is how I am. Genuine. Like peanut butter and jelly.

As time went by feelings developed. Very strong feelings. My thoughts would be on him when I woke up and continue throughout the day. Going to sleep was easy thinking about him next to me. That's how love begins.

It was quick and I didn't see it coming. I fell in love. Someone that just did everything right from start to finish. Someone that said and did the right things exactly on time. Never missed a beat. Ever smiled with your heart? He did that to me. Something I've never felt in my entire life. You could count on him. He was there every second of the way. He was very special to me. I loved him and now he's gone. It wasn't my choice.

I could get a shovel and throw away the pieces of heart he broke off but 10 minutes later there would be more to pick up. A never ending battle.

I wonder if he's happy. I wonder if he thinks of me. It's a sad love story.