Throwing Stones

Circa: Late 80's - Early 90's
Place: 13050 Oak Park Blvd.


We were best friends and lovers. He went away to school in Alabama while I stayed and attended college close to home. He would be gone for months but we'd talk on the phone and send letters. During school holidays or vacation he'd drive or fly back home and get in very late. On his way home usually around 2 or 3 in the morning I'd hear a few taps or stones at my window. I slid the window open and he stood there smiling. I'd jump out of bed and sneek out the front door. Sometimes, it would be a warm night and sometimes it would be freezing cold. If it was warm out we'd take a walk, if it was cold I would grab a blanket. We would wrap ourselves in it and sit on the porch and talk until the sun started to rise. I miss those nights.

Sexy Time

A few years ago my friend Ann and I went on an over-night trip to Toronto. We got to our hotel, unpacked and decided to explore the city. We did some shopping, ate great food and went back to our room to change into our bathing suits to soak in the jacuzzi.

We got in the jacuzzi, sat around...me cracking my gum 2,000 cracks a second and Ann laughing so loud the other people in the jacuzzi got annoyed and left. We didn't care about the stares and sighs the 4 strangers were giving us. We were having fun and relaxing. After upsetting the pool area we wen't into the sauna to dry off.

We went back to our room so relaxed and tired from the full day we had. Ann took a shower and came out in her sweatsuit pj's. I went in to take my shower and came out in a sexy nightgown.

Ann took one look at me and said..."if I knew we were on our honeymoon I would have at least done my hair."

We still laugh about that today.

Condemned

Remember when I told you the lady that lives across the street moved out because she would sleep in her car? The plot thickens. Last night I was talking to the neighbor that lives next door to her.

Let's back this story up a few days...

Monday a Uhaul came to remove her belongings. Tuesday a junk truck came and took more things. Thursday a cleaning company came and they've been there everyday since.

The neighborhood instigator (you know you have one too) and I were talking and he told me this...

The lady (let's call her Debbie) had 3 dogs and never let them out in the 10 years she lived there. Her house was completely unlivable. The people couldn't come in the house to clean for 2 days because of the stench. I was wondering why the windows were open. The house has signs on it that say "CONDEMNED! DO NOT ENTER!" The bank took her house and doubt they can ever clean it good enough to sell it. The neighborhood instigator said he could smell it from his house. He's hoping that the mice and bugs don't invade his house since they have no where to go. I'm scared too. I had a mouse a couple of weeks ago. I killed it. I wonder if it was from her house.

So, the lovely lady that I really liked (and still do) was a stank. Who would have known? Now there's another vacant house in our sub. That makes 6. Here is my worry. The houses are now selling so cheap...the people that can afford to buy these houses are going to start moving in. Those are the same people that park on their lawns, set up BBQ's on the front porch and think it's ok to BUMP their music early Sunday morning and honk their horns.

They said "uh ohh there goes the neighborhood" when we moved in. Looks like we're going to be saying it next. Time to move.

Ripped and Limped

There is a limit when working out. The picture shown is an image of someone I never want to look like. There is nothing cute about this woman. First of all where are her boobies?

The gym I work out at is a "Judgement Free Zone" and they don't let you forget about it. It's posted all over the place. The crazy part is that on the first Monday of the month they serve pizza. It's not pizza with mushrooms or olives it's the kind of pizza that has a pool of grease in the middle surrounded by bacon, pepperoni's and ham. Thank GOD I don't like pizza. It looks very good and everyone eats it. There are empty pizza boxes by the dozens filling trash cans like nobody's business. I'm not quite understanding this concept. Why don't they give away free bottles of water or protein drinks? Gatorade? No, this place goes for the gusto...I think it would be cheaper to just lay out a tray of Snickers and Milky Ways. Good thing I don't run the place.

Other than all you can eat pizza Monday's, I love that place. I go in full of energy and leave limping. There isn't much I can do there but what I can, I do. If I could cut my left leg off at the hip I would be much happier. When I walk I have to talk to myself. I say "don't limp...Pam, don't limp." Walking out of the gym I limp. I don't care. On a pain scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst...my pain would be in the 70 range.

I ride the bike (the one's with the back support) and I walk on the treadmill. I can't wait for the days when I can jump on the stairmaster. It's a goal I have.

I never want a six pack...hell, I never want a 1 pack I just want to look good in my clothes. My smaller clothes.

Fake

Ever have someone tell you a joke that wasn't funny but you laughed? What about smiling? Ever fake a smile? Someone slaved over a hot stove only to taste the dish and it was really bad? Did you tell them it was good or did you throw it in the garbage and tell them it sucked? Guilty of all of the above. I am. If this is a crime...I'm on my way to jail.

Are you being fake or dishonest? Maybe so. Maybe both. Did you do it so the other person wouldn't have hurt feelings? I bet you did.

Next time someone asks if you would like a pound of lard gravy over your 3 lb porterhouse tell them yeah. Why not drop dead of a heart attack so you don't hurt someone's feelings.

Christian Siriano for Payless

Simply stunning. I ran across this picture and loved the heel on each pair of these shoes. Christian Siriano? Sounds Italian doesn't it? I clicked the picture and what came up? An ad from Payless Shoe Source. What's going on? I checked and rechecked. Yep, Payless. Home of BOGO.

I may have to go to a local Payless and check these kick ass shoes! No pun intended.

Thoughts...

Right now. At this moment. I'm thinking of a million things at once. I'm finding it hard to remember any type information because my mind is whirling in different directions.

Thoughts way too deep. Here are some of my current thoughts. The ones that I can express at this moment. Right now.

How do things fall apart? Can they ever be fixed?

Days come and days go. No matter what goes on you always have tomorrow to make it right or wrong.

Everyone has problems. It's how you deal with them that matters.

What are the right reasons and what makes them right? Who is to say if they are right or wrong?

Do you believe in tit for tat?

Does the arrival of something new mean get rid of something old?

How do you know if someone is being true?

When is the right time?

Nothing is a sure thing.

Is someone elses garbage someone elses treasure?

How do you make a decision? What is it based on?

Do you really live for the moment when things can change within seconds?

Is there a sale at Target?

I need answers.

YIKES! What Was That?!?!?!

Poor Bebe. Weighing in at 10 lbs with fur that weights 4 lbs not only snores like he's a 350 lb man with Sleep Apnea but he thinks he's so big and tough. He growls at Saint Bernards, barks at at a Pitbull like he's going to rip a head off , Bebe is only a little short chicken. Shhh, don't tell him. Don't want him to get a complex.

We had to get Invisible Fence. We aren't allowed to get a regular ole picket or chain link. The city won't allow it. Dumb. So, we shelled out the money. We had to do what we had to do.

The police came by more than once to let us know that the next time my dog gets out they'll take him.

The Invisible Fence trainer was a very nice woman. She was very patient and knows her stuff. She would come out 3 times to train. The first day Bebe loved her (I think you know where I'm going with this) by the 3rd day Bebe wanted to gnaw her leg off. The "correction" (we call it a shock) was mild at first. Bebe didn't feel a thing. She bumped up the current and Bebe didn't want to go outside anymore. He would run under the bed when we asked him if he wanted to go outside. Finally by the third day and dragging Bebe outside he was tricked. The trainer stood on the other side of the Invisible Fence with a piece of cheese and Bebe fell for it. The "correction" was on full blast by this time. Bebe ran for the cheese, passed the line he never should have crossed... he screamed, jumped in the air, folded in half and came down running his little tail off. Bebe broke records. He not only broke the sound of speed but he yelped so loud windows shattered, car alarms went off and dogs 5 miles down started barking. Bebe would never leave the porch again.

I want my money back. I don't need Invisible Fence anymore. It's been almost a month and not a rabbit or a 40 lb brick of swiss cheese would get him to leave that porch.

Just Remembering...

Ever love someone really fast and really hard? It happened to me. I guess the faster and harder you love...you can get hurt just as hard and just as fast. I'm thinking about a time in my life that hit me like a ton of bricks falling from a 9,000 story building. That's a huge blow.

We met. At a local spot. Hadn't seen each other in forever. Hadn't planned on seeing him again. Ever. But people run into one another either through an e-mail, through a friend or maybe just by chance. You never think or have a thought about him until one day...he's just there. BOOM! He's there. After that encounter of talking, meeting or whatever...something clicks. A light goes on. The fattest lightbulb that could illuminate an entire country is shining on that one person. A prize on a game show - the spotlight is just shining on that object and you see nothing else. That's what happened. That night the beam of light was so bright over his head that nothing else could be seen. I held my breath for a quick second then let it go. My heart fluttered. My heart stopped. He was looking so beautiful. So stunning. So mature. I stand there taking him all in. Smelling him through his coat during our generous tight hug. "It's so good to see you!" He says to me. "It's SO good to see you!" I reply. I'm thinking about never letting this man go.

Time goes by. Not a long time but long enough to understand the basics. Time goes by just long enough to understand him and where he's coming from and where he's going. We share so much together. It's an instant bond. Likes and dislikes are the same. There is no fakeness. No airs. This is how he is and this is how I am. Genuine. Like peanut butter and jelly.

As time went by feelings developed. Very strong feelings. My thoughts would be on him when I woke up and continue throughout the day. Going to sleep was easy thinking about him next to me. That's how love begins.

It was quick and I didn't see it coming. I fell in love. Someone that just did everything right from start to finish. Someone that said and did the right things exactly on time. Never missed a beat. Ever smiled with your heart? He did that to me. Something I've never felt in my entire life. You could count on him. He was there every second of the way. He was very special to me. I loved him and now he's gone. It wasn't my choice.

I could get a shovel and throw away the pieces of heart he broke off but 10 minutes later there would be more to pick up. A never ending battle.

I wonder if he's happy. I wonder if he thinks of me. It's a sad love story.

I'm Bacccckkkkk!

WOW! It's good to be back. I took a few months off because frankly, I had nothing to write about. These past few months have been filled with pain and not doing much of anything. This rainy weather today is making me ache but I refuse to let this run my life. I will and can be stronger. Mind over matter? Yes, that's what I'll chaulk it up to.

I've been in deep deep thought as my life has been turning and twisting. Many things have been happening and I've gotten off track.

I've been so uplifted lately. I'm happy. I've been singing. I'm finding out who I am again. My likes and dislikes...

I've figured out a lot about myself in the last few months.

1. I love working out. You leave the gym with so much energy! It's becoming 2nd nature.

2. I'm a very picky person. There are things that I would just accept. But I won't anymore. I like that new part of my life.

3. Things irk me that never did before. Being home from work has opened my eyes. I don't enjoy cleaning and cooking everyday for people that don't appreciate my work. I will clean the house and then 5 minutes later there are dishes in the sink, shit spilled or dropped all over the floor and so many other things. My cooking has always been just "alright." No more. I won't make anything special because it's never good enough.

4. I enjoy Facebook. I take it as a joke. I say anything and everything I can. I like to shock people. I love reconnecting with old friends. I express myself and write whatever I'm thinking at that moment.

5. Barak Obama gave me the chills 3 times during his speech last night. He is a powerful speaker and I look forward to seeing his ideas come to life.

6. My sister has become my sole confidant. I tell her everything and she never judges me. If I'm happy...she's happy. I love her.

7. No one can make you unhappy unless you let them. I refuse to be unhappy because you are. I won't let your problems be mine. I just want to be drama free and if you're trying to bring me down...you will go yourself cuz I'm not taking that trip with you.

8. I will be a better person.

9. I will remain strong

10. I am 40 and will not spend another day unhappy.

11. I have set goals for myself and will make sure they are in place very soon.

12. Positive thoughts brings positive actions.

That's all I have to say. I have been uplifted.