I needed a safe. I wanted a safe. I had to have one. I bought one. It was very heavy and hard to get up the stairs once I got home. I put it near my bed and opened it up. I filled out the paperwork that came with it. You have to do this just in case you lose a key and have to get back in there. You get two keys. I gave the other key to Brandi. Don't try to bribe her for the key. I gave her the spare but didn't tell her where I hid the safe. LMAO! If I die and they start cleaning my things out of the house...they'll find it.I opened the safe and got ready to put some things in it. I looked and looked. I don't have any important papers. I don't have wads of loose cash. I wear my good jewelery. There wasn't anything to put in it. What did I need a safe for? I put my birth certificate in it. I thought again. If someone breaks in the house why would they steal a birth certificate? I took it out. I looked around again and again. What do people put in a safe? The box the safe came in had a picture on it. Let's see what they put in it. A passport ( mine expired). Precious jewels that I don't have. A gun. Nope, I don't have one of those. Cash. Who would steal my $22.00? There is a handle on the safe. I'm thinking that if someone came in the house to rob us they could just carry the safe out. How safe is that?
I have nothing to put in my safe. How exciting it wouldn't be if I died and the kids were cleaning out my stuff and came across my safe. "OHHH" they would say. Then they would open in...nothing. How disappointing.
I had to put something in there. I have about $50.00 in rolled coins. I put it in the safe. Now I couldn't carry it to put it in my secret hiding place.
I either need some valuables or return the safe.
4 comments:
I know what you can put in there. A note with an apology for not having anything of value in it and an explanation of that's what you get for burglarizing the home of a woman who is obsessed with safes.......and a recipe for sizzurp.
Mr. Dennis...you are a funny man.
I think the best use of little safes is for fire protection. So put stuff in there that you don't want to burn up. Like, um...eh...hell, I don't know. Toilet paper? That stuff is really flammable.
Oh my gosh, if I weren't at work right now and not really supposed to be reading this, I'd be cackling like a hen. You are funny! We bought a safe. We have our passports in them and probably some other crap I could care less about. But you're right - if anyone cares enough about your shit, they can just pick up the safe and carry it out of your house. Dave's right - it's only good for fire protection.
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